Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dear Neighbor Dog,

Why do you hate me? Does it really make you insanely angry that I run by your house everyday? If I have never bothered you yet, do you really think that I am a real threat to your well being? I really wish you would just chill out and relax. We go through his same routine everyday. I run by, ipod blaring so as not to hear your vicious barks. As I chant my mantra "The dogs on a chain, he can't bite you." over and over, you rise up from your dirt patch, lunge against your chain and bare your huge saliva covered fang teeth at me. You bark over and over until it sounds like you are hoarse. You continue until I am around the corner and down the hill.
It's not good for your nerves, or mine. I'm more than willing to try and be friends. Tomorrow if I throw you a treat will you just lay there and shut up? That kind of behaviour is exactly the reason you are spending your life on the end of a chain, in a dirt patch in someones backyard. There are sweet dogs in this world who spend their evenings curled up in a recliner getting their ears scratched. It's all about making friends.

Kindest Regards,
Your neighbor, the middle aged runner


Britney said...

hahaha. This is too funny!! you will have to update on giving the dog a treat.

Angel said...

Sounds like the dog on the movie "The Sand Lot" !

Amanda said...

You should totally try to make friends with the dog so it will chill out. And you aren't middle aged :). Love ya!

Dustin, Katie, and Kaleb said...

I just got bit by a dog last week (one of the reasons I don't care for home health nursing)...it was a huge ordeal...I say try the treat!

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